whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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