I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
