Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
