He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
