...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize