Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
