He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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