Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I want to fling myself into the sun
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
