Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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