I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
