I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize