we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
