i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
