does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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