biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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