You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
