i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
