but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
