i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
