FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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