I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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