remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
