I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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