i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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