$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
