Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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