i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
