dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
