Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
