Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
