I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How many fucks given?
0.12846
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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