U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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