So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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