i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Too much gin, very little bucket
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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