We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
