yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I want a musical about memes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
