I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Two words: nipple clamps
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