She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
