do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
