the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Less talking, more tequila
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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