found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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