and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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