Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
