I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
