halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize