awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize