I just saw a hot homeless man
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
