Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
