and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
