I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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