You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
