she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize