I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
