Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
