I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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