I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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