What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
