you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
