Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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