Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
