Michael Bay diarrhea
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
