You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
