You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
