How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
