i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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